im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
