I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
