the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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