Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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