I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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