I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
