You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
