How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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