before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
