when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
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