Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize