now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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