Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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