me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
