i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
