i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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