My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
