Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize