its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my phone needs a breathalizer
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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