How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
