I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there was a trapeze. enough said
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
