i barfeds in our rink
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
