yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
