I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize