I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
