Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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