what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize