I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
