Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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