Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize