we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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