i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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