I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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