dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
