Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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