Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
