Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
