was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
