Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How external is "for external use only"?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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