So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
