There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
