Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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