This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
