And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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