Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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