god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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