At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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