That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i now understand why vodka
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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