I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
