Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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