3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Randomize
