i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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