why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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