Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
