is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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