oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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