3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize