bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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