I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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