I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
