My first STD was from a foam party
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
