my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize