It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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