i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
