last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
