Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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