i barfeds in our rink
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
