I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
