Fuck appropriateness.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
