she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
