I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
